Pulling the rope


2 people are pulling a rope from both ends, Let’s call them Eric and George. In the middle of the rope there is a tension. Totally terrified that the rope might rupture, you run to them and ask how did they find themselves in this situation.
Both of them are saying: “He is responible for the tension in the rope – if HE wouldn’t stop pulling, the rope will forever stay tensed.”
“But, you also feel the tension in your hands, that’s because you are also pulling!” you say.
“Yes,” they are both saying, “but HE is responsible, He started, HE is the problem”.

Seeing it all from above, you KNOW that it is enough that one of them will stop pulling to stop the tension. Truth is, that the first one to do it will be the one to stay on his feet, while the other will probably fall on his ass, shocked by the peaceful decision of the other side not 2b a part of this fight.

Ofcourse, I’m not talking about a specific fight or argument, but about ALL the arguments, fights, small angers and big hates that have ever took place between every 2 people since the begining of mankind. I’m talking about the 1000 different times a day your mind accuse someone or something, even for 1 milisecond, in your momentary disatisfaction of the present moment. It is ALWAYS about u and someone else, or u and something else, pulling the same rope. Both of u are so sure that “I” am right and “HE” is wrong and refuse to leave this rope already.

But what is preventing you from observing it all from above, just like you saw the fight between Eric and George from above? What is preventing you from letting go from all of these ends of ropes? Letting go from all of your angers, worries, fears and arguments with your mother and father, friends and lovers?


This can be pointed at. Seriously. Find it – and you shall be free.


83 comments on “Pulling the rope

  1. yomicfit says:

    So true and wise

  2. Often one must take REAL action against an opponent – legal protection or dissolution of a relationship but well said that letting go is paramount to a life well lived. shalom!!!

    • Ido Lanuel says:

      Hi Tereza,
      10x 4 your comment.

      But, what it is that prevents us from letting go?

      • foziasaeed says:

        Love this article and so true. In some ways I do agree with Tereza that there are times you have to take action against an opponent. However letting go is sometimes the best way and the only way to move forward.
        What stops us from letting go? i think it could be a mixture of things, fear is one. If you have none of this ‘tension’ to focus on then you may have to address other aspects of you life or things in general that you are perhaps trying to avoid.

  3. random8042 says:

    Thanks. I needed that.

  4. Putri zati hulwani says:

    Hey, i find this post really interesting and inspiring. I hope to re-post this on my blog but i will also put your blog as the source. Do you mind?

  5. This one’s so true, Ido. I’ve recently encountered a situation where blaming others is the key source of the person’s worries and problems. If only we all get the point that blaming has no good results, we can focus our attention to the real problem and work on the solution.
    Thanks for this! Keep inspiring! 😉

  6. Don says:

    The metaphor of holding on to the rope is such a good one. It is sooo much easier just to let go. Enjoyed your post. Thank you..

  7. Nice one. Peace back at ya.

  8. This is so true! And what a great example, that we can all visualize and understand. Sometimes it’s hard to step back and see ourselves from the outside. Ok, almost all the time it’s hard to be objective about ourselves and our behaviors. But if we would just step outside of the emotion and be willing to change ourselves (not the other person), then things would go more smoothly in our lives.

  9. andrewteach says:

    Well said! The need to be right and thus defining our self-concept on that is what makes us grab the rope. Once you stop trying to pick up the rope there is no-one there to pull you. Peace is in yourself found through love and acceptance of who you are then no rope needs to be pulled. Great post!

  10. Shouldland says:

    Totally agree. But do you find people get resentful after a while of you taking the moral high ground? And what happened to the original two names for the characters in the story? They were cool!

    • Ido Lanuel says:

      The names were removed because I didn’t want the post to be political 🙂
      Some people do get resentful. But that is understood, as these messages are not easy to fully understand by the mind, who is used to other ways of thinking and tries 2 stick 2 them 4 a while. It will change with time, as the human mind is now greatly changes.

  11. SprinklinThoughts says:

    Good thought and well said. Thank you.

  12. Night Creature says:

    Reading this, I realized I’ve been holding tight somehow to both ends of the rope, fighting my self from both sides, it got me thinking a lot that maybe somehow soon enough I’ll let go of that rope, I’ll try at least..
    so thank you, you really helped me by writing this

  13. leelotchka44 says:

    What prevents us from letting go is the need to be right – right?

  14. Miss Nae says:

    Very clever and thought provoking…

  15. Inspimind says:

    Really nice artice and an interesting read. To let go one should not have ego and first they should let their ego out.

  16. Christa says:

    Thanks so much for stopping by my blog. Love your site and online course!

  17. Delft says:

    I think we pull on the rope because we want to move something that we think is connected to the rope. We believe that by pulling on the rope we will move it, but in reality the two are not connected. When we let go, we may actually move it, but we’re to busy pulling on the rope to ever try.

    I also think the rope is nailed down in the middle. We only feel our own “pull”. So two people can be pulling with quite different strengths. And no matter what the other does, the only way to free ourselves is if we let go.

  18. Hey Ido,
    Thanks for visiting and liking my blog ~ I resonate with several consciousness explorers, among others Krishnamurti, Ramana, Lao Tzu etc. and recently I have been immersing myself more deeply into Nisargadatta’s talks. As he himself says: “I have nothing to say which can be termed hearsay, or which has been read, or has authority from scriptures. What I have to say is coming out of my own Self.”
    I sense your writing is the same and it resonates with me beau-coup. This one on the rope is an exercise my wife does with her groups and she calls it “Reconciling Polarities”. I’ll ask her to send it to you.
    much Love,

  19. thehurtfactory says:

    Hi Ido. Curious question which if you can answer would help me greatly. Let us say that a government is oppressing a people unjustly, and this is causing pain to many. One is pulling the rope in an effort to make the government change. How then does one let go, when giving in means allowing the suffering to continue?
    Always enjoying your posts, thank you 🙂

    • Ido Lanuel says:

      Hi thehurtfactory,

      Let us create a discussion out of this question:

      * Can an external factor (government) cause suffering to one or does suffering arises and dissolve internaly? If an external factor can do that to you, doesn’t it make you a slave to changable, subjective, unstable and endless amount of things that might arise in the infinite reality that we live in?

      * Looking at things objectively (meaning that the “I” idea is gone, does not exist at all), could you still say “The government oppressing people”? Because just now, I can think of 10 different ethnical / religious / economical groups of people in my country, who might say that the government oppresses them. Is that really the case, or it is just because the idea of the “I”?

      * Assuming for a moment that you are talking about places in this world where people are not allowed to think freely. In this case ofcourse action must be taken. Now, let’s go back to the rope example – do u c the rope as a mental or physical metaphor? If u c it as s physical metaphor, than u definately can’t let go of the rope. But it is not a physical one, it is a mental one. We are talking about a continual suffering. The government IS NOT responsible for the suffering. The suffering arises INTERNALY as a response to the government behaviour. This suffering shouldn’t b there, once the belief in the “I” idea is gone. And this, has NOTHING to do with the act that should b taken against the government in these cases. The action and the suffering are 2 different things and can’t b treated as one.
      Say 4 example that u hate your work. Is the work responsible for your suffering? IS your work a suffering? Of course not. The suffering arises in the inside and an action should b taken 2 change the flow of things, but these r not the same. The suffering will b gone once you let go of the mental rope that ties it to a specific reality.

      • thehurtfactory says:

        Thanks for the considered response. I guess I struggle with knowing when it is pain (external cause – toothache, hunger, violence) and when it is suffering (internal cause, worry, refusal to accept reality, desire for things to be other than they are). Sometimes it’s hard to know.
        I do accept that we create suffering in ourselves, but I think we must be careful not to take responsibility for pain. If a government oppresses its people and the people respond by saying ‘it’s okay, we’re the cause of our own pain’, then the oppression will continue – wrong is happening. Sometimes one must pull a rope or two.
        Similarly – if one is prevented from caring for ones child by the state, and one can see that this causes pain to the child, how does one not also hurt? How can one come to an acceptance of this situation compassionately? Rather than having to switch off love and care so it doesn’t hurt any more?

  20. ooplalund says:

    The force is strong with you 😡

  21. Love your descriptive post. Totally agree that sometimes you just have to ‘let it go’ to free yourself enough to move on to a better life.

  22. sarahsilver says:

    Hi Ido, I love your blog and your advice 🙂 You have just been nominated for the One Lovely Blog Award! Check out my post “One Lovely Blog Award” for details on what to do next. Congratulations and please keep bringing us great words of wisdom http://sarahsilver.wordpress.com

  23. jesshatcher says:

    Hey! Loving your blog, it’s looking good 🙂 I nominated you for a Liebster award! Check it out! http://411design.wordpress.com/2012/09/06/liebster-award/

  24. Really true! It’s basic human nature, after all! You can tag the story above in one of many expressions – Competition, Jealousy, Pride, Ego, and what not! Nice post! 🙂

  25. jahnosecret says:

    Hi Ido,
    Thanks for checking out the posts. Your article contains a great analogy for the unnecessary ego-based struggles prevalent in society. Peace.

  26. I am like a rubber band – a circular plastic rope – I pull against myself and will soon break if I do not learn how to release the negative thoughts that encircle my sense of self. The rubber band is so tight right now that when it does break it will snap back on me and hurt – but wait, maybe that’s what needs to happen to me for that would surely make me “let go” and drop it fast. I dislike feeling like a stretched out rubber band…..waiting for the “snap” – I wish I could take it off and put it away.

  27. Jane says:

    Just to let you know I have nominated you for the “One Lovely Blog Award”, with thanks for bringing me so much joy through your blog. You can find the details about how to proceed with accepting it (if you choose to) at this link: http://janesindiajournals.wordpress.com/2012/09/10/with-joy-and-gratitude-one-lovely-blog-award/

    with love light and JOY

    • Ido Lanuel says:

      Thank u soo much Jane,
      I have to refuse it though, as I always do.

      Peace & Love

      • Jane says:

        I completely understand. I stopped accepting awards on my other blogs as well as it simply got to be just too much. But it was important for me to use this opportunity to get special blogs out there for others to see and perhaps explore. That was my main purpose…to bring others to those blogs I have found important in different ways in my own life. 🙂
        much love light and JOY

  28. lillymilly007 says:

    Won’t letting go be just that – letting go? Giving up? Admitting failure?
    Thanks for your so interesting, well written posts.

    • Ido Lanuel says:

      As long as you believe that there is a fight, that something is “Not good” in the present moment, in reality as it is, letting go might look like a failure. But is it REALLY so? Is there a “someone” in there, differ from reality, differ from nature, who can lose? At first place, Isn’t the one who can fail EGO itself?


  29. that is our human nature, it was started from a simple things then it became bigger, or worst it take so long before it is ended, I find this post very kicking and opener, great one thanks for sharing this one…

  30. Great analogy. Keep on going.

  31. Reblogged this on Tanmay Chauhan's Blog and commented:
    Interesting! Yeah, but I am not leaving the rope and do some brain churning until I get to a result that ‘I’ deem to be correct.

  32. Interesting! Yeah, but I am not leaving the rope and do some brain churning up until I get to a result that ‘I’ deem to be correct. BRB in a week:)

  33. acetogrey says:

    Hi, I like your post, you sound like my dad when he was trying to explain life.

  34. mindfuldiary says:

    Good one! Of course ego is the answer. That is why we keep holding on past or are far ahead in the future. Never now. Although it is not difficult to let go of ego, it is difficult to remain your focus on now. Any tips for that? Do yu manage to stay present all the time Ido? Take care.

    • Ido Lanuel says:

      What we really are is always present.
      What seems 2b moving through time is only our thoughts. When we notice that we are “not in the present” and than trying 2 get back to it, it is just another thought that says: “Hey, you are not now” – but it is just another thought. The belief “I am not present” is just an illusion. We are ALWAYS present.

      All those stories and thoughts exists just because we don’t manage to see that this all “I” is an illusion. That there is no one out there which is seperated from anything. That there is no one who can be “not present”. Once this illusion is seen through, there is no need to judge ourselves anymore, as we can than c that those past / future thoughts are also allowed in this present moment..

  35. mindfuldiary says:

    Accepting the thought for what it is, a thought. I agree, we are always present. It is just the mind that keeps wondering around. Took me some time to accept, that our wondering mind hopping back and forward, is part of being present. Got really impatient in the beginning of awareness, because I naturally wanted it to stay but trying to control anythin, I learned is of ego. So, is the impatience, it is just another form of ego.
    Good job with the blog and the workshop! 🙂

  36. festivalking says:

    Well said! Thank you for re-educating us 🙂

  37. you are so very wise and true. we mostly blame others for the tension but if we let go of it…

  38. […] Pulling the rope. Share this:TwitterFacebookLike this:LikeBe the first to like this. […]

  39. […] Pulling the rope. Share this:TwitterFacebookLike this:LikeBe the first to like this. […]

  40. audre1 says:

    Reblogged this on let fear guide you. and commented:
    This is too true.

  41. “Letting go from all of your angers, worries, fears and arguments with your mother and father, friends and lovers?”
    In fact we should not even think ourselves equal to our father (parents), especially if boy has achieved a high social status. Unfortunately, whoever does that, faces great burden both in this world and the hereafter. We can’t even think of being angry with our parents. How can be we angry with our parents we nourished us in our childhood?
    May Allah Subhano Wa’Ta’la guide us. Ameen(May this happen)! Sum Ameen(May this happen)!

  42. Eric and George were at opposite ends of the rope facing each other. If one could change to the opposite side and stand side by side with each other there wouldn’t be any tension in the rope. Love is like a mirror when you love someone and they love you, They become your mirror and you become theirs,reflecting that love you will see infinity. Looks to me like, Eric and George were reflecting their love for each other. We all live love in our limited fashion and don’t seen to relate the resulting confusion to our lack of knowledge about Love. We all need to stand side by side in love. No tension, just love.

  43. melmannphoto says:

    Pride, ego, gotta be unique – we do crazy things to validate our existence.

  44. Hi Ido 🙂 very inspiring and thought stimulating, i totally agree… It is very easy to blame others, I have been guilty of doing that countless times, however I have learned that it is essential to emotionally let go of the situation and act to correct it by learning to forgive irregardless of who may be right or wrong. I find that when one holds on to the rope, it indefinitely consumes your entire being and diminishes your energy and vitality. I’ve made this one of the key fundamentals for the way I live life and I always strive to look at the bigger picture. It is the only way forward and it is truly liberating…

    ;D Cheers!!

  45. Slayer Muser says:



    What is Ego?

    Ego is a mind-created sense of self. It is an illusion that persuades us that we are what we have, what we do and what others think of us. Always looking to the outside, ego is the bossy barrier that often prevents us from knowing our true selves.

  46. asklotta says:

    Well again your post makes me happy but what if by letting go, it feeds the bully to bully even more so. They see weakness and take it as an opportunity to go in for the kill? I truly believe in letting go but but if you were never holding on in the first place, its difficult to let go of something you never had.

  47. andelieya says:

    Letting go of the rope sounds a lot like yielding in martial arts. It can be very effective.

  48. Carole Boshart says:

    I saw that you had been over to visit my site and read some of the posts. I am glad that you liked them. So I came over to visit yours, and I liked what I saw. Sounds like you have been doing some intense thinking and journeying over the last few years. Blessings as you continue thinking and journeying. It is my hope and prayer that your journey is filled with joy, laughter, peace and compassion!

  49. The illustration inspired this comment:
    Ants And Their Amazing Social Behavior


    Ants actively leave their nests before death and break up all social contact. This social withdrawal is not due to manipulation through pathogens or parasites but it appears to be an altruistic act of the ants themselves.

  50. Argus says:

    Perhaps honesty comes in as a factor, somewhere.
    To be honest, does it really matter a damn in the Great Scheme of Things?

    Indoctrinated to be needlessly competitive I got kicked off the rugby team for catching the ball and promptly giving it to the first great hairy oaf thundering in my direction. The other kids came off the field covered in mud and glory, I came off a virgin. I often wondered: If they both want a ball so very much that they’ll maim for it, why not (balls are cheap enough) give both sides one?

    The only justification for violence is self-defence, ‘sport’ isn’t. Time for us all to see beyond our conditioning and indoctrination, think for ourselves and trade (not take) for our livings. “Let go”? I did that ages ago …

  51. Nice post, It reminded me of a similar illustration using two heaps of hay on either side of two donkies tied together by a rope. To illustrate cooperation and sharing. Hope you can visulise that, this is where a picture is worth a thousand words. Thanks for following, i do a drawing of the donkies and a post on that one.

  52. Jessica Eve says:

    This is brilliant! We hold onto the rope because of our ego. It’s our ego that has the fears, the anger, the need to be right, that can’t let go. I LOVE this part: “Truth is, that the first one to do it will be the one to stay on his feet, while the other will probably fall on his ass, shocked by the peaceful decision of the other side not 2b a part of this fight.” lol I am trying to practice being the one to let go at all times, even just in my own thoughts. Thanks for sharing!!

  53. reesa says:

    Thanks for stopping by the blog. Your posts are a good reminder of what matters.

  54. Reblogged this on Wise Counsel and commented:
    Who is responsible for the problem?
    This is the best illustration I have come across that answers it.
    A rope is being pulled from both ends, by two different people. Nobody agrees to let go and each blame the other for the tension.
    Who is responsible for the problem?
    Why doesn’t anyone let go?
    This really is the best illustration I’ve seen.
    Beautiful and brilliant!

  55. […] Pulling the rope. […]

  56. danspira says:

    What prevents Eric and George from letting go of the rope is (a) misguided desire for more rope, and (b) misguided desire to bring the other closer. When one lets go, one can walk over to the other and share in the whole rope.

  57. lab1point0 says:

    Enjoying your posts, Ido. The rope metaphor is a good one that has been used in many variations in literature through the ages. You employ it skillfully. The world will fall on its collective “ass” one day when God reveals Himself to us all — both the living and those already passed from Earth. God created and loves us all.. . has a plan for us all. His love, once we fully understand, will blow us away in that our temporal selves and all of its weaknesses will be removed and we will exist in glorious likeness of Him as the sons and daughters that we are. Thank you for visiting and liking my site. 🙂

  58. Freedomborn says:

    Hi Ideo, I do like your rope allagory, it is True differant understandings can indeed cause Tension which in turn causes inner discord and confusion, which then leads to disagreements and yes we may just let go of the rope but if nothing is resolved then this will cause division,

    It is so good to know that there is real Truth that brings Pease and Joy and that is God’s Truth which only causes concern if we are in error. How do we know if we have His Truth, we ask Him for it and He promises if we do He will give us His wisdom, we can then be sure and not have doubts regardless of what others say that contrdict but if we do doubt then we never really believed we could receive His wisdom or anything else that He promises us, all of which is always good, All good things come from God, He is Love and can do no evil.

    Christian Love from both of us – Anne.

  59. brenda says:

    I have found more and more that it is I that needs to become aware of and question the motivation that “drives” me to question and thus change the behavior of “others” who are in their own tug of war. Am I seeking to find internal peace through an externalization of effort that it the others that NEED to find resolution in their differing perspectives, beliefs, and moral guidelines. Yes, releasing the rope results in the other falling . . . yet, when do I as an observer release my emotional/mental rope?

  60. jasminetea2 says:

    Thanks, Ido that was really comforting. But, it’s easier said than done. Really like the picture of the ants you put up there. Thanks for contributing to world peace. Peace to you Bro.

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