So in yesterday’s post we’ve discussed 2 things –
1) Everything that bothers you is born within you, as it is formed by your perception of reality and not by reality itself.
2) In order to go deeper, you have to be willing to take responsibily for it – thus accepting non conditionally that YOU are the one who has to change.
That being said, 2day I’m gonna talk about a way to analyze what’s bothering you till u get 2 the bottom of it. For that matter, let us assume that you woke up 2day, looked at the mirror and decided that you have a “bad hair day” and therefore you are ugly. Gotcha! you blame the ugliness (an external factor) for your suffering (Worrying, low self-esteem). That happens a lot lately, and you already know that you can’t blame your ugliness for the fact that you feel bad, but only your attitude towards your look. (because you’ve read HOW TO FIND THE ROOT OF ANYTHING THAT”S BOTHERING YOU? #1)
So how do you turn inwards? Well, here is the magic trick: You ask WHY. And when you ask WHY, there are 2 things you have 2 keep in mind:
*) The answer has to point at you – not at anyone, or anything else. It has to point at the place where your attitude is coming from. (fear, fear, fear)
**) The answer has to point at the NOW. It can’t point at 1 minute ago, or 1 minute after. Only NOW – because you are bothered NOW.
And once you ask WHY, here’s the dialogue that will run in your head, till you find the source of your suffering (By asking WHY again and again):
Q: Why am I so bothered by the fact that I have a bad hair day?
A: Because that means I’m ugly!
Q: No, we’ve already been there. No external factor is responsible for my suffering (*). (Asking WHY again) So, WHY does the fact that I’m ugly botheres me?
A: Because everyone will laugh at me.
Q: No, ‘everyone’ is an external factor again (*). ‘will laugh’ happens in the future (**). (Asking WHY again) WHY does the thought that everyone will laugh at me bothers me now?
A: Because, I’m afraid (YES YES YES) that I won’t have any friends! (The fear is internal and it is now – this is the answer)
Q: YES! (Now let’s go deeper) – but WHY does that fear bothers me?
A: Because, I’m afraid (good) that if I won’t have any friends, I will be alone.
Q: So? WHY does being alone bothers me? (deeper)
A: Because, I’m afraid (exactly) that if I’ll be alone, I won’t be happy.
Q: So, WHY does not being happy bothering me?
A: Because, I’m afraid (applause) that if I won’t be happy, I will die.
Everything that bothers is constructed by many different fears, that all lead up to the root – the fear of death (Which leads to the love for life).
But what do you do with that information? Well, that post is becoming way too long, so I’ll discuss it 2morrow.
b.t.w there will also be a 4th post to that series, in which I will give some practical exercises to parctice this new way of self-aware way of thinking.
In the meanwhile –